Living a continent away from family means being absent for some important life events: birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, and weddings. FaceTime has made it easier to be virtually present with the promise of having another celebration when we are together again. Unexpected illness, however, is different. There is an unspoken dread of a phone call in the middle of the day at work or in the middle of the night, any time outside of expected communication.
I received such a call today. I was in a meeting at work. There was a moment of pause when I saw the familiar caller id. I briefly considered calling back after the meeting. But the call was at an unexpected time and I answered it. It was my Dad. My mother had been diagnosed with bilateral pneumonia and admitted to the Intensive Care Unit.
My first instinct was to assess the tone in my Dad’s voice. He was tired but calm. Then my mind moved to her diagnosis and treatment. Knowing that it would take me at least 24 hours to get there, I ventured the question “Am I needed there now?” No, I was not needed now. A few hours later, I was able to FaceTime with her. She felt better and wanted to go home. I felt better too. My virtual presence was all that was needed. At least for now.